Post by saladfingers on May 10, 2006 7:58:10 GMT -5
I was at school this morning, me and a couple of friends were hanging out in the canteen near a table occupied by a flock of mixed foreigners, mostly americans. Tapos there was this really pretty girl about to walk between our table and that of the mixed-blood crowd. When she passed by I heard one of them guys say: "Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?"
I'm sure the girl heard him, coz I was further away from them but I clearly heard what he said, but I guess she just pretended not to. Which I think was the best reaction given the situation, since dealing with such crude asses is never a smart thing to do. I know it's a rude pick-up line, but I think it was hella funny and clever! ;D
In spirit of my close encounter with lame jack-asses who spit corny pick-up lines for fun, I searched the net for more crazy and funny pick up lines.
"Hey if we were squirrels... could I bust a nut in your hole."
"Hey, are we in a library? Cuz I'm checkin you out."
"Man are you a parking ticket, cuz you got FINE written allll over you."
"Do you have a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants!" (This one I don't understand )
"I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated!"
"I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?"
"Do you have a bandaid? Cuz I tripped while I was falling for you."
"Are you a parking ticket..? Cuz you've got FINEEE written all over you."
"Are you a book? Cuz I am CHECKING YOU OUT. "
"Do you have any tape? Cuz I'm gonna stick with you forever."
"Are those astronaut pants? Cuz your butt is outta this world!"
"Hey is your daddy a terrorist? Cuz your DA BOMB"
"Did it hurt? When you fell down from heaven?"
"Well here I am! What were your other two wishes?"
"Let's make like guns and bang."
"Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind ALL day."
"Do you know your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated? How about we go double check that!"
"That dress looks great on you... as a matter of fact, so would I! "
"Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart."
"Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns."
"If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you."
"I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south."
"Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?"
"I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away!"
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together."
"Excuse me Miss, you dropped a piece of ass, let me get that for you. (then grabs her ass)"
"If you were a booger, shoot...I'd pick you."
"If I was a fly, I'd be allll over you cause you the shit."
"H-hey, I have this problem. I tend to stutter around really gorgeous people. So h-h-how you d-d-doing?"'
"Damn, honey, do you know karate? Cuz your body is really kickin!"
"Excuse me, I'm from the FBI; Fine Body Investigators...I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position."
"You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case." (Really? Cool. Here, let me guess what your smallest organ is. Your brain. )
"You know, the power company is looking for you, cuz you're so electrifying!"
"Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"
"Do you want to go swimming? I dont think there's a pool around here but my sheets are blue!"
"I think I burnt my tongue, will you kiss it and make it better?"
^^ ;D ;D
Now I know for sure that the male population is the inferior specie. Nyahahaha! Even if I were born a guy, I wouldn't use ANY of those pick-up line even if my life depended on it. *gags*
"If your left leg was Thanksgiving, and your right leg was Christmas... could I spend some time beween the holidays"
"Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread."
"Can you help me find my puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room."
"Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?"
Guy: "Have you ever kissed a bunny between the ears?"
Girl: "No."
Guy: *pulls pockets inside out* "Do you wanna?"
"Gee that's a nice pair of legs. What time they open?"
"That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap beside my bed."
"You be the Dairy Queen, I'll be the Burger King: you treat me right, I'll do it your way!"
^^(Those are just downright rude and tasteless. If they were used on me, I'd yank the guy's male anatomy till it reaches his toes.)
There are versions of these with corresponding smart retorts. But for the life of me, I can't seem to remember what site I read that from.
I'm sure the girl heard him, coz I was further away from them but I clearly heard what he said, but I guess she just pretended not to. Which I think was the best reaction given the situation, since dealing with such crude asses is never a smart thing to do. I know it's a rude pick-up line, but I think it was hella funny and clever! ;D
In spirit of my close encounter with lame jack-asses who spit corny pick-up lines for fun, I searched the net for more crazy and funny pick up lines.
"Hey if we were squirrels... could I bust a nut in your hole."
"Hey, are we in a library? Cuz I'm checkin you out."
"Man are you a parking ticket, cuz you got FINE written allll over you."
"Do you have a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants!" (This one I don't understand )
"I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated!"
"I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?"
"Do you have a bandaid? Cuz I tripped while I was falling for you."
"Are you a parking ticket..? Cuz you've got FINEEE written all over you."
"Are you a book? Cuz I am CHECKING YOU OUT. "
"Do you have any tape? Cuz I'm gonna stick with you forever."
"Are those astronaut pants? Cuz your butt is outta this world!"
"Hey is your daddy a terrorist? Cuz your DA BOMB"
"Did it hurt? When you fell down from heaven?"
"Well here I am! What were your other two wishes?"
"Let's make like guns and bang."
"Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind ALL day."
"Do you know your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated? How about we go double check that!"
"That dress looks great on you... as a matter of fact, so would I! "
"Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart."
"Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns."
"If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you."
"I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south."
"Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?"
"I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away!"
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together."
"Excuse me Miss, you dropped a piece of ass, let me get that for you. (then grabs her ass)"
"If you were a booger, shoot...I'd pick you."
"If I was a fly, I'd be allll over you cause you the shit."
"H-hey, I have this problem. I tend to stutter around really gorgeous people. So h-h-how you d-d-doing?"'
"Damn, honey, do you know karate? Cuz your body is really kickin!"
"Excuse me, I'm from the FBI; Fine Body Investigators...I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position."
"You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case." (Really? Cool. Here, let me guess what your smallest organ is. Your brain. )
"You know, the power company is looking for you, cuz you're so electrifying!"
"Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"
"Do you want to go swimming? I dont think there's a pool around here but my sheets are blue!"
"I think I burnt my tongue, will you kiss it and make it better?"
^^ ;D ;D
Now I know for sure that the male population is the inferior specie. Nyahahaha! Even if I were born a guy, I wouldn't use ANY of those pick-up line even if my life depended on it. *gags*
"If your left leg was Thanksgiving, and your right leg was Christmas... could I spend some time beween the holidays"
"Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread."
"Can you help me find my puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room."
"Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?"
Guy: "Have you ever kissed a bunny between the ears?"
Girl: "No."
Guy: *pulls pockets inside out* "Do you wanna?"
"Gee that's a nice pair of legs. What time they open?"
"That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap beside my bed."
"You be the Dairy Queen, I'll be the Burger King: you treat me right, I'll do it your way!"
^^(Those are just downright rude and tasteless. If they were used on me, I'd yank the guy's male anatomy till it reaches his toes.)
There are versions of these with corresponding smart retorts. But for the life of me, I can't seem to remember what site I read that from.