Post by saladfingers on Apr 21, 2005 1:16:47 GMT -5
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[glow=red,2,300]The ability to quote is a serviceable subsitute for wit.[/glow]
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Here are few of the MANY quotes that I enjoy, some of which you may find funny:
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Charlie Brown:
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'."
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Is life a multiple choice test or is it a true or false test?' Then a voice comes out of the dark, and says: 'We hate to tell you this, but life is a thousand word essay.'."
"Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, 'Why me?' And the voice says, 'Nothing personal your name just happened to come up."
"Sometimes I lie awake at night in bed and I ask, 'Is it all worth it?' And then a voice says, 'Who are you talking to?' And another voice says, 'You mean: to whom are you talking?' And I say, 'No wonder I lie awake at night.'."
Snoopy:
"Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement."
Linus Van Pelt
"I love mankind. It's people I can't stand."
"There are three things I've learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin."
(from PEANUTS comis strip)
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"You can keep silent and appear a fool, or you can open your mouth and remove all doubt."- Abraham Lincoln
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity . . . and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstien
"I didn't fail. I just found a 1000 different ways that didn't work." - Thomas Edison
"There is no such thing as darkness; only a failure to see." - Malcolm Muggeridge
"If he wrote it, he could get rid of it. He had gotten rid of many things by writing them." - Ernest Hemingway
"Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words—"mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind." - Anonymous
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Calvin:
"As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway."
"That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse."
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
Hobbes:
"Live and don't learn, that's us."
"Why should I have to WORK for everything! It's like saying I don't deserve it!"
(from CALVIN and HOBBES comin strip)
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Johnny C. (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac):
"There's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling preceded some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows compacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their 'discomfort' like a favorite shirt. I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just now, but I can't help but look forward to where it's going."
"We think we can live away from what we hate, but are defined by those very things, it feeds upon us...sustained by our belief that we are something right. We think we are so great in our protests…but we just become the bitter offspring of what we oppose. We become prisoners in our own cages."
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Alanis Morissette:
"I, too, once thought that once proved wrong that I lost somehow."
"How bout not equating death with stopping?"
"I can be an asshole of the grandest kind."
"You finish my sentences, I think I love you. What is your name again? No matter, I'm guessing your thoughts again correctly. And I love the way you press my buttons so much sometimes I could strangle you."
"We would be breathe and be charmed and amused by difference"
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Brandon Boyd:
"This isn't coincidence, there's no such thing."
"The world is a joke when out of love."
"I have an open door policy when it comes to blame."
"Since when did what we paid for colored cloth gage our gravity?"
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"The gum looked fresh. I sniffed it and it smelled right. I licked it and waited for a while. When I did not die I crammed it into my mouth" - Jean Louise Finch
"There are just some kind of men who are so busy worrying about the next world they've never learned to live in this one." - Miss Maudie
"I read every book I could lay my hands on. . . . but I never loved to read; one does not love breathing." - Jean Louise Finch
(from the book TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD)
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and last but not least. . . my favourite quote:
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[glow=red,2,300]No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne were; any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.[/glow]- John Donne
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[/font]NOTE: Post your favourite quotes as well!