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Post by saladfingers on May 8, 2005 8:02:23 GMT -5
DRIFTWOOD By Ghindie -------------------- Italized words – Character’s personal thoughts. Orange colored text - Her speech Pink colored text - His speech --------------------The sun was high, coloring the sky with an orange hue. The air was filled with music; the grass sparkled with the morning dew. It was a sight to behold, but for her this day brought nothing but death—a death of a dream that hasn’t even began.
She hesitantly stepped out of the car. From where she stood, she could hear collective cries from a distant.
‘I shouldn’t be here.’ She thought for the millionth time, yet it seems her feet had a mind of their own. She was being led to him; her heart was yearning to see him. . . ‘For the last time.’
She stopped walking upon hearing the voice of the priest, saying things that don’t make sense. Nothing makes sense. At that moment all she could see, feel and hear was him. . .
[Flashback]
“So you’ve heard about it, huh? Oh well, everyone will face death eventually, it just so happened I got the first flight out.” He said, laughing mirthlessly.
“It’s not fair.” I said, my voice hoarse. Here he is, the man who owns my heart, dying from a stupid disease. It wasn’t fair. I should be holding him now. Comforting him or crying with him through his most difficult times. But I can’t. And god it hurts. Although I want nothing more than have him cry on my shoulders, I know he wouldn’t find comfort in my presence. His heart was someone else’s. He’s madly in love with another woman. I am not who he needs. I wanted so bad to get mad at him, but I know it’s not possible. I can never be mad, not with him, not ever. It’s not fair.
“Nothing’s fair, you should know that by now.” He looks at me, then smiles. A smile he shows only to me. I know he’s trying hard to make light of the situation. But he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t know how it breaks me to see him in pain. He’s so near yet so far—always with me, but will never be mine.
For hours we talked—sharing ideas about the people around us, our regrets in life, our dreams. . .
“You know, ever since I was a kid I’ve always wanted to build a boat and sail until I die of old age. I would travel across oceans with the girl of my dreams, and together we would make the world ours.” He said, his eyes sparkling with dreams that can never be turned to reality.
Hearing his words, I felt my heart break.
‘With the girl of his dreams, the girl of his dreams, the girl. . . of . . . his dreams. . .’ I repeated endlessly. I would’ve given anything to be that girl.
[End of Flashback]
Mourning of family and friends brought her back to reality. She didn’t notice that her face was wet with tears. The ceremony was nearing its end. It was time for the casket to be buried. She struggled her way to the crowd. She looked at the woman, crying on her son’s grave. Her husband trying his best to comfort her, although obviously in pain as well.
She wanted to feel sorry for them, but she could no longer cry, could no longer feel pain. Her ability to feel was stripped away the moment the man she loved took his final breath.
‘You should be mourning for me, too. Can’t you see that I died along with him?’
Then, she felt someone tap her shoulders, handing her an envelope. She didn’t need to ask whom the letter was from, she already knew. Her name was scribbled by the handwriting she could never forget. She frantically opened the envelope, her hands wobbly.
The next thing she knew, it was raining.
‘The heavens are crying for me.’
The letter, which was starting to get wet, fell from her hands to the casket. It laid on the heart of her heart. Some burly man began to cover the casket with soil. It was covered along with him, along with his and her dream, along with what both of them have missed, along with the letter that all along said:
“Someday, my dreams will come true. On that day, I will sail with you. . .”The End
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Post by saladfingers on May 8, 2005 8:06:04 GMT -5
A/N:
KKK, so whatcha think? Was is it overly dramatic, annoyingly sappy? Or was it good? Critique my work please.
So yeah, that story was inspired by the song “Miss you love by Silverchair” This story doesn’t exactly go along with the concept of the song but still distinctly similar. Both are tragic. Hehe. For the uninitiated, the song tells of a guy that intentionally hurts the girl so that the girl would forget her love for him. Fuck it, I’m in no mood to further explain it to ya, so here’s the lyrics:
Miss you love
Millionaire say Got a big shot deal And thrown it all away but But I’m not too sure How I’m supposed to feel Or what I’m supposed to say
But I’m not, not sure, Not too sure how it feels To handle every day And I miss you love
Make room for the prey ’cause I’m coming in With what I wanna say but It’s gonna hurt And I love the pain A breeding ground for hate but...
I’m not, not sure, Not too sure how it feels To handle everyday Like the one that just past In the crowds of all the people
Remember today I’ve no respect for you And I miss you love And I miss use love
I love the way you love But I hate the way I’m supposed to love you back
It’s just a fad Part of the teenage angst brigade and I’m not, not sure, Not too sure how it feels To handle everyday Like the one that just past In the crowds of all the people
Remember today I’ve no respect for you And I miss you love And I miss use love
Remember two days I’ve no respect for you And I miss you love And I miss use love
I love the way you love But I hate the way I’m supposed to love you back
Heartbreaking, yes? Hehehe. Don’t you just love to read stories like these? Oh I know you do, we’ve all got a masochistic streak in us, it just takes time to show. I’ve wrote (or typed, dammit) in xanga my recently discovered fascination with stories of love that can never be. Why not happy love stories, you ask? Well, it’s tried and tested, movies / stories / plays that have happy endings are easily forgotten. Happy endings are dead ends, leaving no room for ‘what ifs and if onlys’, whilst a sad ending is like a blank page, a never-ending opportunity to put your imagination to work. Think of the movie Titanic, if Jack didn’t die in the end, the movie wouldn’t be as successful. And you wouldn’t be mopping around after watching it, thinking, “If only the Titanic sunk in the Pacific instead, then Jack wouldn’t have frozen to death.” Or “If only there were more goddamned lifeboats.” Or even, “Tangina kung hindi kasi naginarte si Rose ng, ‘if you jump, I jump’ eh di sana pareho silang nakaligtas.” And so on and so forth. A character’s death makes a story worthwhile. The memory of losing someone or something remains more intact in our minds than the memory of gaining something. Tell me of an instance that you remembered the day your wound healed rather than the day you got it. Wala diba? That’s coz pain outweighs comfort. It’s also the reason why Shakespeare’s stories and the Greek Tragedies are loved worldwide. The same way I expect you to love my stories as well. *snorts* ;D
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Post by hidenori on May 9, 2005 11:51:34 GMT -5
just like wat u'r expecting.. i love this one.. nice nice nice ^.^ overly dramatic.. somehow uh uh, but not annoying, the doze is just enough maybe it's being this short helps. funeral is common and the letter thing.. but it won't be noticed na nmn. hehe
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Post by hidenori on May 9, 2005 11:52:19 GMT -5
why "driftwood" nga pala?
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Post by saladfingers on May 10, 2005 6:53:58 GMT -5
You liked it? Yay, I'm sooo happy!
The funeral and letter is common? Shoot! All along, I thought otherwise. ;D
Hindi ba nakakalito yung biglang palit ng POV? Ngayon ko lang kasi napansin. Hehehe.
Why driftwood? Haay sabi na nga ba't may magtatanong nito eh. Hehe. It's kinda hard to explain, but, uh, I'll try. Kasi diba the guy's dream is to have a boat and travel the world? Kaso he died without being able to confess his love for the girl. So driftwood stands for what remains of that dream. Compared to the boat that the guy initially wanted naming the story driftwood shows the big gap between what could have been and what will never be. Tapos, driftwood also simbolizes the girl's emotional state after she learns that the guy loved her all along. With the guy dead along with the knowledge of what could have been a beautiful relationship, she now wanders aimlessly. She'll be just another face in the crowd, living without purpose, hollow and jaded. Parang drfitwood, inaanod lang kung saan. So yeah, that pretty much explains the title.
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Post by saladfingers on May 10, 2005 7:00:58 GMT -5
Just want to clarify that the woman the guy is madly in love with is the story's lead female character. And vice versa. Both are oblivious to that fact, though. Tanga kasi pareho. Hehehe. But seriously, both of them were just afraid of rejection, of taking the risk, so their feelings for each other remained unknown thus unrequited.
Kaya pag in-love kayo wag na kayo magpakipot sabihin niyo na agad. Tignan niyo ko alam ni Yolando ang totoo kong nararamdaman. Kaya pag namatay man siya okay lang. Nyahahaha! ;D
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Post by life.love.light on May 12, 2005 0:51:08 GMT -5
A very short composition yet the readers promptly understand and feel the story. --------------------------------------- I like Miss You Love by Silverchair [yun yung pinaguusapan natin nung 3rd tayo db? pinahanap mo pa nga sken yung lyrics. hindi pa natin alam yung title nun before.] --------------------------------------- I'm not good in giving reviews. I'm no critic.
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Post by hidenori on May 12, 2005 1:30:03 GMT -5
no need.. u made it very clear na.
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marhain
band member
silent whispers late at midnight... am i dreaming? why are you looking at me? is your cold touch rea
Posts: 35
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Post by marhain on Jul 16, 2005 0:43:33 GMT -5
it's a good story very dramatic.... i dont have much to say
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Post by tEchNY|koLouR|gEek on Aug 4, 2005 1:04:41 GMT -5
big applause for you.. the best... maganda cia khit maikli... very dramatic.. haay..
well, im just surprised with you, your romantic side... ^_^..
newaiz.. its really beutiful...
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Post by life.love.light on Aug 4, 2005 8:52:28 GMT -5
big applause for you.. the best... maganda cia khit maikli... very dramatic.. haay.. well, im just surprised with you, your romantic side... ^_^.. newaiz.. its really beutiful... romantic side? wwwaaahhhhaaaatttt? !!! gusto na kasi nyan magka-boyfriend eh..kaya sa ganyan na lang dinadaan..hahaha! ayan..na-in love na tuloy sayo si oscar.. ;D
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Post by saladfingers on Aug 6, 2005 3:46:51 GMT -5
I'm gonna kill you for saying that. I swear, one way or another, I'm gonna kill you. Then feed your insides to dogs then have your head framed and displayed on EDSA. Wahahahaha!
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Post by tEchNY|koLouR|gEek on Aug 11, 2005 6:02:58 GMT -5
anong na-inlove?? u're so malicious ha.. what i mean kasi is dba parang tough gurl si ghindz.. parang kasi ganun ung pagkakakilala ng ibang tao sa kanya ... parang aloof cia sa mga guys.. parang man-hater.. ;D *peace* since nakagawa cia ng gantong story, you would know na medio may pagka hopelessly romantic cia..hehehe jokes. gets nio ba?? dba dba?? *peace* i remeber a quote tuloy.. "if u scratch the cynic, there's a romantic underneath"
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Post by tEchNY|koLouR|gEek on Aug 11, 2005 6:05:13 GMT -5
*about the story*
sa totoo lng mali ung lalaki jan... may nararamdaman na pla cia sa babae, hindi pa nia cnabi... medio complicated kc situation nila, friends kc sila... hindi nila alam kung accepted/rejected ba ung love nila.. pero dpat sinubukan ng guy na magtapat.. alangan namang ung babae pa ung mag sabi na in love sya... tsktsk
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Post by saladfingers on Aug 17, 2005 7:27:42 GMT -5
big applause for you.. the best... maganda cia khit maikli... very dramatic.. haay.. well, im just surprised with you, your romantic side... ^_^.. newaiz.. its really beutiful... Romantic? Hmm well not exactly. I'm more after the heart-clenching feeling you get when you read tragic stories, and what better way to ellicit those feelings is to dwell in possesive and dark love stories that end up badly. Killing a fictional character gives me a natural high. Heh. Sooo it's not romance and all that bull that goes with it, it's drama and heart-break that I'm after. Love is one of the extreme human emotion, I'm more inclined to exploit the other half of the spectrum which is hate. Rage is beautiful, I tell you. In a poetic kind of way. And I shall end this with a favorite quote of mine: ...and it's gonna hurt, and I love the pain--a breeding ground for hate.
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